Without Your Smile
by Fractured Dreams
Summary: Kakashi returns home to an empty apartment, and realises that its too late to save what he once had....very mild KakaIru,shounen ai. Rated T just in case!


Well, I was inspired to write a short drabble about two of my favorite characters! Duno why I haven't before! Well, here goes!

**Disclaimer: **Nothing that is linked to Naruto belongs to me! And the song is Without your smile by evermore.

**Warnings: **Angst, OCC. Shounen ai Not much else.

_Italics are song lyrics or thoughts_

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_Without your smile_

_I get back home and you're gone_

_Step inside and its cold_

_I've been away so long_

_This feels wrong_

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The apartment was cold and dark when Kakashi stepped inside, and a feeling of unease hit his stomach heavily. His home felt unused and that's what scared him.

_Where was Iruka?_

Closing the door softly behind him, he stepped into the hall and switched on the lights. Weariness tugged at him bines and he longed to lie down right there in the hall and sleep.

It had been a long mission, longer that expected and he'd been away from home for months. Every moment of everyday his entire being longed to be at home with Iruka. To hold him, and to taste him and to breathe in his beloved scent, a tantalizing mix of spring and rain.

_Being without your smile feels wrong_

_I've been without your smile too long_

Yes, he missed Iruka. He missed that messy ponytail, his warm, chocolate brown eyes. He missed his compassion and his gentleness, and the way he rubbed his scar whenever he was worried or thinking.

He missed his warm, welcoming smile that washed over him like a cooling balm on a burning wound. Yes, Iruka was him home.

Kakashi walked through his apartment, _their _apartment slowly, turning on lights as he went. Everything was neat and clean and where it should be. Iruka's obsession with keeping things tidy and clean was totally endearing, and made him all the more lovable. His sense of dread mounted when he found the place deserted. The fridge was empty; Iruka had obviously cleaned it out.

The wardrobe was devoid of Iruka's clothes, his half of it empty. Only Kakashi's clothes hung there. No school work was scattered over the tables, no clothes waiting to be washed in the laundry.

Iruka was gone…

_Feelings lie on the floor_

_Thinking nothing at all_

_Put my hand on the door_

_Switch the light on the wall_

_But I do notice one thing I miss_

_What I know is this…_

Kakashi sunk boneless onto the cold living room floor, shock and pain dominating his being.

Iruka had finally left him.

_Being without your smile feels wrong_

_I've been without your smile too long_

Things hadn't been right between them for a long time. Kakashi was the first to see that he was constantly letting Iruka down, showing up late and sometime not showing up at all to the dates Iruka planned and to the dinners with friends that had been organized months before. Iruka often had to attend these things alone.

He foten went on long mission, leaving Iruka alone and lonely. Sometime he had to leave in a hurry, and he never got the chance to let Iruka know. Iruka had been very understanding, but it must have been hard.

He knew that he hurt and upset Iruka with his habits. He knew Iruka must have been so sad and disappointed. They had stopped talking about the important things a while ago.

It wasn't that Kakashi didn't care. He just wasn't good with emotions. He had difficulty expressing how he felt, and he often forgot things. Iruka was an emotionally based person who needed human contact. Iruka was constantly telling Kakashi that he loved him, despite his flaws, and yet Kakashi, who was trapped in the past and his memories, couldn't seem to say how he felt. Iruka knew, of course, but he had needed to hear it, and to know that he was loved.

Perhaps he was tired of waiting for him to come back, of being alone. Perhaps he needed a partner who was more considerate, who wasn't the emotional eunuch that Kakashi was. All he knew was that Iruka, the endlessly patient Iruka, had finally given up on waiting for him and left.

He was alone again.

Kakashi, despite not being able to voice it, was desperately, hopelessly in love with Iruka, and he had driven away the one person who had been his world. He had driven away his sunshine, his light.

He bowed his head as silent tears began to flow. He cried for all that had been and all that could have been. He cried for the one who ruled over his heart, and for all the stupid mistakes he had made.

Iruka was gone.

"_Come back home…"_

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Well there you have it. My first Kakashi/Iruka drabble. I was thinking of writing a sequel or something. What do you think?

Thanks for reading!


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